Emotionally and energetically healing from early stage Lyme.
Today is day 27 of my early Lyme journey. Click here if you want to read more about what has been happening previously. I haven’t been feeling so well lately but considering I am now into week two of the antibiotics (and I started taking them within three weeks of discovering the tick bite), I think it is just a question of getting through it as best I can, however, I wanted to write a post today in order to go over some feelings I have had about the emotional side of healing and how important it is.
The night before last, I had a very vivid dream where I was in a city appartment with a friend and I was looking in every cupboard for something really important; I was due to go off to college that morning and I knew I had to have this certain thing for the day and my friend was helping me look for it. We never found what it was I was looking for in the dream but yesterday evening, out of the blue, my friend called me for a chat. I was thinking, no way! this is crazy – he is actually an expert forager, herbalist and intuitive and when I told him I had early stage Lyme, he replied that he had just made up some Teasel Root tincture and could post it to me the next day. I now knew exactly what it was I was looking for.
We discussed my dream at length; he asked me more questions about how it felt emotionally and about some other details of the appartment and I told him that it was a very safe space to be in, with soft colours, big floor cushions and a lovely cat. There was however, a lot of clutter in the cupboards and it made me feel quite stressed searching through them. We talked about the fact that over the past couple of weeks, I had been preoccupied with my thinking brain running on full power ‘research mode’ looking for treatments for my physical symptoms on the internet (signified by cluttered cupboards), seeing doctors etc. and that night, my subconsciousness had (at last) taken over and guided me into this safe space to ask for help in finding something my energetic body needed for healing. And it just so turned out that he had made the tincture already for me; I would not ony benefit from a powerful, wild-crafted remedy (used specifically in the treatment of Lyme) but I knew that the energy sent through the plant – via his healing hands – into that bottle had been tailor-made for me.
Today, I have been through a dramatic shift in awareness. After quite a turbulent night, I woke up feeling very calm and I was able to slow down and even stop my habitual thoughts, which normally seem to flood into my head as soon as I wake. I became open to my body and it started to become ‘larger’ – I am not sure if this is the correct word to describe it but in a strange kind of way, it became more powerful. I had the sense that my body could tap into ‘Unlimited Wisdom’ to defend itself against the Lyme bacteria, if only I would stop overriding it with incessant (worrying) thoughts and feeding it with complicated information; stuff that up until now, I ‘thought’ was the best thing I could be doing to help.
I also realised that here I was, already living in my safe space; I had created a real-world equivalent of that appartment – with its soft colours and floor cushions – in my own home and I had already ‘designed’ my life so that I could avoid crowds and noise and unsettling things like travel (which I find very hard to cope with) and can be absolutely at peace and settled. This realisation has come as a blessing to me; there’s no need to desire to be somewhere else or want something more than I have already; all I need to do now is concentrate on reconnecting and reintegrating with my energetic Self.
Clearing my mind of extraneous clutter is what I am going to be concentrating on in the next few days, if not weeks; letting the innate ‘power’ of my body fully grow back to its former strength (before my incessant thinking patterns took over, probably sometime soon after I started school at the age of 5). I realise that there is nothing else I need to be doing at this point; there’s no complicated procedure I need to work over, absolutely no mental process involved – I just need to let go and stay in the present moment, where all this Knowledge already lives. I am of course, not going to give up on the antibiotics, the supplements, the detox or the diet as I know that everything has had (and will continue to have) a part to play in all of this but right now, I feel it is time to trust that my body will do what it has to do in order to fight, if I give it the chance.
The dream, the phone call and the teasel root tincture has reconfirmed my faith in the Universe, where everything is connected and healing is totally possible within the energetic/psychic field. It is also the place where I can communicate with animals and Spirits and this is where my future ‘work’ will lie, so it makes sense to dive deeply into it as soon as I can.